


When We Were Young

by Shelbieryne



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, F/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-22
Updated: 2016-12-15
Packaged: 2018-05-22 16:42:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6087058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shelbieryne/pseuds/Shelbieryne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lexa has been in London for the past year after leaving her college girlfriend, Clarke. Now having to come back for her brother's/best friends' wedding, she will have to answer the question: Why did she leave? How will Clarke handle it?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One Year Is A Long Time

**Author's Note:**

> Hey. So, this is my first go at a fanfiction. This is just a teaser of what's to come hopefully you will like it. Sorry, about typos.

Lexa Woods was nervous, she had been a twitching bundle of nerves for her entire nine hour flight, which was especially annoying for the gentleman next to her who more then once sent a glare her way. Lexa had more important things to worry about though, she was heading back to New York City after bailing to London for a year. She would have a lot of explaining to do… mostly to her ex, Clarke.

 ~Flashback~

Lexa was stirred out of sleep as a tickling sensation starting to crawl up her back and the feel of hot breathe next to her ear. “Babe, it’s time to get up”

Lexa grumbled burying her head further into the pillow 

“Come on, you have a paper to finish and I have class.” Lexa continue to ignore until she heard a sigh of frustration and the pillow being ripped from under her head. “ Seriously! Get Up!”

The brunette groaned, rolling onto her back and finally opening her eyes searching the room finding her girlfriend in front of the vanity mirror brushing her long curly blonde hair. “ So, why can’t we stay in bed all day?”

Clarke smirked looking at Lexa through the mirror “Because we have a month left of this semester and we can’t afford to fail now.”

Lexa signed getting out of bed “Fine” making her way over to the other girl then wrapping her arms around her from behind. “But, after finals I expect a full week of nothing but you and me and that bed” landing a kiss on Clarke’s neck. 

Clarke turned around with a small smirk “Deal” giving Lexa a kiss before turning around and continuing to get ready. Lexa signed letting go of the blonde before going around the room getting ready herself.

“Hmmm, I talked to my mother this morning.”

Lexa continued to get ready opening the closet looking for something to wear “and what does she want now?”

“Just wanted to say hi and tell me that she’ll be in the city next week”

“Wait, what?!” Lexa shutting the closet door and turning around facing Clarke.

“Listen” Clarke walked over to the brunette wrapping the tense girl in her arms “It will be fine. She just wants to come and see me, make sure everything’s fine.”

“Is she going to be staying here?”

“No, she will be staying at a hotel… but, that doesn't mean she won’t be coming by the apartment.”

Lexa stepped away from her “and where to you expect me to go?”

“I don’t expect you to go anywhere, you live here and my mother knows that!” getting a little frustrated at Lexa's attitude

“Yeah, as your roommate not your girlfriend!” deciding it’s better to get out of the apartment Lexa started changing out of her PJ's into other clothes.

“Which you are usually fine with! My mother doesn't come here often! She will come see the apartment… I will move my art supplies out of the spare room that just so happens to have a spare bed. Boom! Now, I have a roommate.” 

Lexa finished pulling her shirt over her head and looking at her girlfriend in disbelief “Wow, you have seriously thought about this. Silly me, I thought the bed was for our friends when they get so stupid drunk they can’t get home!”

Clarke sighed “Of course, it’s there for that! But, you know it doesn't hurt to have a plan! You know my mom could not handle knowing I have a girlfriend let alone living with her!”

“I know and I have been very understanding for the past two years but, I kinda though we were getting where you wouldn't be afraid!” 

Clarke couldn't believe this was what their morning was turning into, getting a little closer to her love and claiming her voice “You know I can’t do that, what if she doesn't approve of this” point at herself then Lexa “what if she decides to cut me off, I would have to figure out a way to finish art school and I would have to quit working at the gallery which is really helping me find connections and get a job that would pay more.” Grabbing Lexa’s hands and pulling her close “I love you so much believe me I want the world to know but, please just go along with this please.”

The brunette signed looking into the blue eyes in front of her. “Ok, I don’t like it but, I love you and like Raven always says I’m completely whipped by you.”

~End of Flashback~ 

Lexa was shook from her thoughts as the Captain's voice rang through the plane that they were starting their descent to JFK Airport. The brunette took a shaky breath in and out. “Well, here we go” silently to herself. Looking out the window, Lexa looked out on the world she left behind and was now having to face whether she was ready or not.


	2. Homecoming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who read the first chapter. I'm not sure how long this story will be but, I have the main plot all figured out. Sorry about typos.

The Airport was packed full of people going every direction, it felt like an hour for Lexa to grab her bags and find her way to the pick up area. The brunette looked around until finally finding who she was looking for “Lincoln!”

A tall, muscled, tanned skinned man rushed to her pulling her into a hug “Lexa, it’s so great to see you!”

“You too. I’ve missed you so much” Lexa letting herself relax in her brother’s arms. 

After a few seconds, Lincoln pulled back looking down at his sister “So, before I give you lecture about disappearing for a whole year how about we catch a taxi?” grabbing one of her bags. Lincoln led Lexa to one of the cars that were waiting.

After getting the taxi loaded and giving the driver the address, the siblings got comfortable in the back. Lexi looked out the window staring out at the city that she missed, hearing her brother clear his throat she looked at him knowing the talk was going to begin “I’m happy that you and Octavia are finally getting married” she smiled at him.

“I’m happy that you could be here for it.” 

“Look, I had a good reason for going.” Lexa said trying to defend herself

“Yeah, you’ve already told me this when you finally called me two weeks after you left before that all I got was a text saying ‘sorry’, an internship does not explain why you left with no heads up. I would’ve been happy for you so would the rest of your friends… even Clarke would’ve understood.” Lincoln looked at sister wanting to know what really sent her away.

“I can’t explain it ok. One day maybe but not yet. Just know that if at the time I could’ve thought of a better solution then I would’ve stayed. Cause it broke my heart leaving all of you behind.” Lexa said trying to keep her tears under control 

Lincoln put his hand on her shoulder “I’m your brother and I know you better then anyone so, I’m gonna to trust that you had a good reason and hope that when the time is right you will tell me.”

Lexa looked him in the eyes “Thank You. So, where’s the engagement party happening?” trying to change the subject to something happy.

Lincoln smiled “ Anya is letting us use Grounders.”

“You’re having your party at the coffee shop.” Lexa smirked

He chuckled “Hey, if it saves some money then so be it. Octavia is already going overboard with the ceremony”

“Yeah. I can only imagine” Lexa had to ask “So… who’s all going to be there?”

Lincoln smiled “Just the casual group of people, we decide to keep it small since the wedding itself is definitely going to be more of an event.” he said simply

Lexa nodded her head looking out the window. She didn't want to blunt but, she wanted to know.

Lincoln could see the torture his sister was she going through, bitting her lip and rubbing her hands together. He decided put her out of misery. “Of course, Clarke is going to be there.” Lexa looked at him “She’s Octavia’s Maid of Honor. Raven was pissed at first but, then she realized she got out of doing all the hard work and she got over it real fast. You knew you weren't going to be able to avoid her, right? She been in all our lives way too long.”

“Yeah, I know.” The brunette looked at her hands “I’ve thought over and over what I would say but, I just come up empty.”

“Well, you have till tomorrow night to come up with something. Just so you know, she does know that you’ll be there. Octavia thought it was only fair to warn her.” 

“How’d she react?”

“All Octavia told me was that Clarke really didn't want to talk about it “ Lincoln shrugged as they pulled in front of the apartment building.

They paid the taxi driver, grabbed Lexa’s bags and headed upstairs. “Thanks for letting me stay with you and Octavia”

“It’s no problem, I made Octavia swear not to kick your ass though” Lincoln looked at her. She knew her brother wasn't kidding.

“I appreciate that.”

Finally reaching the fourth floor, Lincoln went to the door on the left, unlocking it and stepping inside. Lexa followed closing the door behind her, looking around things hadn’t change much some new furniture and decoration around but still very much the same. 

“Hey, O. We’re here!” Lincoln called out putting the bags by the couch.

Lexa heard footsteps coming down the hall, taking a calming breath not know what was going to happen next. The small brunette made her way into view looking straight at Lexa with a unreadable expression. As she got closer Lexa expect the worst, just because she had promised not to kick Lexa’s ass didn't mean she couldn't yell but, what she did surprised Lexa more then anything. She pulled her into a hug, Lexa hesitate only for a second before dropping her bag and copying the other brunettes’ action. They hugged for a second before Octavia pulled away “That was because I really missed you” then the brunette punched Lexa right in the shoulder “and that’s for leaving and hurting my friend!”

Lexa held her shoulder “That’s fair. Missed you too Octavia.”

Octavia gave Lexa a small smile before heading towards the kitchen. The Woods siblings shared a look know it was better to follow the headstrong brunette. Octavia checked inside the oven before looking up at Lexa “ Dinner is almost ready, The spare room is all set up for you. How about you get settled then we’ll eat and we can catch up?”

Lexa was kinda surprised at how calm Octavia was being. Maybe the outburst in the living room was going to be it. “Ok, sounds good. Thank you for letting me stay here, Octavia.” knowing that if her brothers’ fiancée was against it she definitely would be at a hotel instead. She grabbed her bags and headed down the hallway knowing that the spare bedroom was on the right next to the bathroom. The hallway was decorated with many different pictures when one caught her eye. It had Octavia and Lincoln all bundled up outside in front of a campfire looking happy smiling into the camera but that wasn't what caught her attention it was the couple next them the brunette had her arms wrapped around the blonde trying to help keep her warm. They weren't looking at the camera but, at each other like nothing else mattered. Lexa sighed running her fingers over the photo before continue her way to the bedroom and unpacking.

~~~~~

Lexa laid in bed exhausted between the traveling and the emotional rollercoaster that the day had brought, not to mention a full stomach of lasagna. Dinner had gone, they spend time eating and catching up. Lexa talking about her internship with the publishing company mostly getting coffee and answer phones but, had learned a lot as well. Octavia talked about how she was starting a new business but, was being pretty cryptic about it, just that it was taking a lot of work. Lexa wanted to know more but, knew not push if Octavia wasn't going to hassle her about why she left well, she could have her secret too. Lincoln talked about getting more involved in Grounders and how Anya actually trusted him enough to take a vacation every now and then. Lexa was happy to be back spending time with her family, she had truly missed them. She was also dreading tomorrow, she would see Anya the only person who knew why she truly left because her aunt had threatened to fly to London if she didn't tell her and she would see her friends again. Raven was sure to give her hard time as well as Monty and Jasper. 

Lexa closed her eyes, trying to clear her mind and get some sleep but, like so many nights her last thought was of the most beautiful blue eyes she had ever seen.


	3. Restless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, sorry for the long wait. After the episode that shall not be named, I had a case of writers block and then decided to change up the story a little bit. It was going to be more of a slow burn with a lot of angst but, now I'm not so sure. It will still have angst, how can there not be in a story like this? Just now I really just want these two characters to be happy so maybe the slow burn will not play too much of a role. I definitely will finish this story though, I Promise.  
> And as always sorry about errors and typos.

~Flashback~

Lexa was sitting at home alone on her computer trying to get her mind off the fact that Clarke was currently picking up her mom from the airport. It wasn't that Lexa hated Abby, she didn't even really know her which Abby seemed just fine with. When Clarke first introduced them it was during Spring term of Freshman year, Clarke really wanted her mom to meet her ‘friend' who she gushed about during holiday break so, they met at a small cafe near campus. Lunch went ok but, Lexa could tell that Abby wasn't her biggest fan which Lexa will still swear by is because even though she’s never said anything Abby has always know about their relationship. Her girlfriend says she being ridiculous but the way Abby looks at her sometimes when she touches Clarke well the phrase if looks could kill comes to mind. Lexa is interrupted in her thoughts by a ding on her computer notifying her of a incoming email. She looks in her mailbox and lets out a noise of surprise. It’s from the publishing house that she was interested in interring with after college, Lexa clicked on the email bringing it up and reading it quickly. With every word a smile grew more and more until she reached the final portion where her smile faded just as fast before she could even process what she had read, she heard the front door open.

“Lexa! You home?!” Clarke shouted stepping into the apartment followed her mother.

Lexa quickly stood up from the couch placing her laptop on the coffee table to meet them in the small foyer “Yeah, I’m here. Hi, it’s nice to see you again Ms.Griffin.” the brunette tried to put a smile on her face and forgot the email.

Abby returned the smile but, it not really reaching her eyes “Hello, Lexa. It’s nice to you too.”

Lexa then noticed the grocery bags in both of the Griffin’s hands “Oh, let me get those.” Taking the bags from Abby while also giving her girlfriend a subtle look.

Thankfully, Clarke noticed “Oh, right. Well, mom and I got talking on the way here about how long it’s been since I’ve made my awesome Chicken Parmesan so, we kinda stop on a whim and I’m gonna make us some for dinner… you too, of course.” The blonde smiled at her girlfriend hoping that it and the promise of pasta would be enough to get her to stay and not make up some excuse to leave.

Lexa was definitely conflicted could she really handle a night with Abby’s not so subtle glares? … but, Clarke’s Chicken Parmesan was really good. “Oh, well… of course, I’ll join. How could I say no to free food” she noticed Abby’s small eye roll out of the corner of her vision.

“Great!” Clarke said in relief “Mom, why don't you seat and relax? And Lexa will help me with dinner so, she at least will have to work for her free meal” giving her girlfriend a cheesy grin

“No. Clarke really I could help…”

Clarke interrupted her mom “No, Mom. You’ve been traveling all day just go and relax. I’ll open a bottle of wine and bring you a glass well you wait.”

“Fine” Abby nodded before heading to living room.

Clarke and Lexa headed into the kitchen, sitting the grocery bags on the counter and pulling out the ingredients for dinner and a few bottles of wine that were definitely going to be needed.

“Hey” Clarke said in a hush tone so her mother wouldn't overhear “I’m sorry about this, it just kinda happened and I was gonna call but, I couldn't get a second alone.”

Lexa turned looking at the blonde “It’s fine. Really. She’s your mom plus I’ll get my obligated dinner in early.” giving Clarke a big grin.

Clarke rolled her eyes and laughed “Well, I guess that one way to look at it.” walking over to one of the cabinets to pull out some wine glasses and a corkscrew. “So, how was your day?” Clarke asked making her way back over to the counter sitting everything down next to Lexa.

“Oh.. It was fine,” Lexa mumbled trying not to think about the email “Class was OK and uhh..Grounder’s was kinda busy so, yeah…” 

Clarke looked up from putting the corkscrew into the top of one of the wine bottles, she could tell that there was something wrong. “Hey” the blonde turned facing her girlfriend and placed her arms around the other girls neck pulling her closer. “What’s up?”

Lexa put her hands on Clarke’s hips and looked into her beautiful blue eyes. She couldn't didn't wanna talk about it not yet. “Nothing” she lied leaning in to kiss her girlfriend in reassures, muttering “just tired” before placing her lips on the other girl’s.

Clarke hummed savoring the kiss for a moment only to pull away and look back at her girlfriend study her face closely. She knew Lexa was hiding something but, knew not to push knowing the brunette would come to her when she was ready. “Ok” Placing one more peck on Lexa’s lips before turning back to the task at hand, pulling the cork from the bottle and pouring it into the three glasses. “Do me a favor and take this to my mom so, I can start the chicken and then come and help with the salad?”

Lexa groaned

“Seriously?! She’s not going to do anything.” Clarke said holding out one of the glasses “Just give her the glass, smile, then come back”

The brunette pouted but, took the glass from Clarke “You better be puttin’ out later tonight, Griffin” looking the blonde up and down before turning away from her.

“We’ll see if you behave” she heard Clarke say has she exited the kitchen

When Lexa rounded the corner to the living she noticed two things: the very thoughtful look on Abby Griffin’s face and her forgotten laptop still open on the coffee table in front of the woman.

~End of Flashback~

Lexa woke up early the next morning after a restless night of sleep. She didn't know what today was going bring but, she knew it wasn't going to be easy. Lexa felt bad because even though she was happy for her brother and Octavia, being back wasn't something she was ready for. She had no clue what she was going to say to Clarke, if her ex would even want to talk to her. What could she possibly say that would make abandoning the woman she loved any better? Lexa knew being honest would shatter Clarke’s world even more then she already had. Lexa couldn't do that; not back then and not now.


	4. Welcome to Grounders

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I know it's been awhile. I'm really trying to make this story worth reading. Thanks to everyone who has left kudos and comments, I really appreciate it. As always sorry for the typos.

Lexa loved Lincoln and Octavia but, there is only so much of the engagement glow she could take. She swore that through breakfast both of them wanted to jump each other right on top of the waffles. She decided it was best to get out quick and head over to her Aunt’s coffee shop. Lexa had a close relationship with her Aunt Anya who had taken her and Lincoln in after their parents’ car accident. Anya was definitely not ready for two teenagers to come into her life at just thirty years old but she did the best she could knowing it’s what her older sister wanted. 

Lexa walked into Grounder’s, immediately hit with the scent of familiarity. Lexa spent many hours both relaxing and working in this place.

“Well well look who it is!” a loud booming voice came from behind the counter.

“Gustus, hi!” Lexa greeted the large breaded gentleman who made his way over to her and pulled her into a hug. “It’s great to see you.”

“It’s good to see you, Commander.”

Lexa pushed Gustus away and slapped him on the shoulder “Don’t call me that!’

Gustus let out a deep chuckle “Whatever you say… Commander.”

“Stop it!”

“What the hell is going on out here?!?!” 

Lexa turned around to find Anya storming out of the back coming to a stop in front of her “Of course, it was you.”

“Hey! Blame Gustus he was the who was making fun of me!” pointing her finger at Gustus. 

Gustus laughed “Whatever you say, I need to finish up these pastries for the party tonight.” disappearing back behind the counter.

“Come on drama queen, let’s go to the back”

Lexa followed the older woman to the backroom and taking a seat in front of her aunt’s desk while her aunt takes her seat behind the desk.

“So, Niece. How’ve you been?”

Lexa sighed “I’ve been ok. Work has been great, I’ve learned a lot. How’s business?”

“It’s doing great, Lincoln has been taking on more responsibilities leaving Gustus and I have more time to relax.” Anya said with a smirk

“Eww, that’s disgusting” Lexa groaned 

Anya laughed “Please the times I walked in on you and…” the older brunette stopped seeing the look on her nieces face. “Sorry, Lex.”

“No, it’s my fault.”

“Yeah, well we both agree on that.”

“Hey! I did what I thought was right!” Lexa said frustrated, she immediately regretted her outburst “I’m sorry Anya. Just coming back and everyone has questions and I don’t have the answers.”

Anya looked at her in disbelief “But, Lexa you do. If you would’ve been honest and just told Clarke things could’ve been different.”

“No, it would’ve ended up being a choose between her mom and me which I could not of done that to her.”

“But, it that wasn't your choice to make. You left her crushed, not knowing what she did wrong. She finally stopped asking me about you four months hoping I'd let something slip... Don't worry I didn't”

Lexa ran her fingers through her hair “I really messed things up huh.”

Anya stood up, walking around her desk to kneel in front of her niece “Look, you can’t change the past but, you can be the person I know you are and well… Man up! Gustus gave you the nickname the Commander for a reason.”

Lexa laughed at her aunt before getting serious again “I know I won’t be able to avoid her forever, just I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to really apologize to her… let alone her forgive me.”

“You’ll figure it out, I’ll have faith in you.” Anya stood back up kissing Lexa on the top of her head.

Lexa smiled “Thanks, Anya. Now, is there anything I can do to help out for tonight?”

“Well, Gustus has the food and drinks covered. You help me putting up the decorations. I’m going to move rearrange the cafes’ tables and chair, can you go upstairs we’ve stored the banners and tablecloths in a few boxes up there?” Anya reached into her pocket, pulling out a ring of keys and handing them to Lexa.

“Yeah, no problem.” Lexa stood up, leaving the back room, and headed to the left side of the room where the door that lead upstairs was. The upstairs was an open spaced loft that Lincoln had lived in before Octavia and him decided to move in together. Lexa guessed no one had moved in yet making to the top of the stairs she figured out she was wrong. “Oh, shit”

“Clarke, wait I need to warn you about something.” Anya shouted from the bottom of the stairs.

Lexa heard footsteps coming up the stairs and a chuckle that still made her knee weak. “Anya, I’m just stopping by to pick up my clothes for the party and then I’ll be out of your hair. I prom-.” Lexa heard the gasp behind her, taking a deep breath before turning around to face the blonde taking in the beauty that she had left behind before focusing on Clarke’s beautiful blue eyes.

“Hi, Clarke.”


	5. Hello (Clarke's POV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I know it's been a while. I actually wrote a whole chapter and hated it. I decided to do a chapter from Clarke's POV which I never really planned on doing so, this maybe the only one. As always sorry for any mistakes.

“Hi, Clarke.”

Clarke couldn't believe what she was seeing, there standing right in front of her was Lexa. The woman who she had cried over for months after being abandoned and she was back, looking as beautiful as ever. Clarke had thought about this moment in her head so many times and now she had no idea what to say.

Clarke felt a hand on her shoulder and Anya’s voice behind her. “Sorry, Clarke. I didn't think you’d be back until the party uhh… Lexa was just grabbing the last of the supplies that you let me store up here.”

Clarke broke eye contact with Lexa turning to Anya who had an apologetic look on her face. The blonde took a breathe “It’s ok, I was just grabbing my dress for the party. We’re all getting ready together at Raven’s.” sending the older brunette a smile before turning an walking down the small hallway to her bedroom making sure not to look at the other brunette who had yet to do say anything else. Clarke walked over to her closet when she heard hushed voices coming from her living room, 

“What the hell, Anya?”

“I swear I thought she wouldn't be back tonight, besides you knew you were gonna have to see her sometime.” 

“Yeah, but like later after I had time to think about what I was gonna say to her.”

“Please, you’ve had a year like a few more hours were gonna to make a difference… just grab a box and head back downstairs. I’ll be there in a sec.”

Clarke heard Lexa sigh then some movement and the creak of the stairs, she let out a breathe that she didn't know she had been holding. The blonde grabbed the dress she planned wearing and headed back to the living room where Anya was waiting.

“Clarke, I really am sorry. I wouldn't have let her up here if I would have know.”

“It’s ok. I knew she would be back just thought I had a little longer plus more of crowd to avoid her at all cost.” she chuckled.

“You can’t avoid her forever and I really think you two should talk. My niece can be dumb sometimes but, she has a huge heart… just keep that in mind.”

The blonde shook her head “I’m sorry Anya but if she had such a big heart she wouldn't have left in the first place. I loved her and she broke my heart.” looking down at her watch “I have to go the girls are waiting, I’ll see you tonight.”

Anya looked like she wanted to say more but, just nodded “Ok, I’m just gonna grab this last box. I’ll see you tonight.”

Clarke smiled before heading downstairs to the cafe. When she got downstairs, she took a look around not seeing the brunette anywhere. Clarke figured she was hiding in the back until Anya gave her the ok to come out, shaking her head the blonde walked outside and hailed a cab. Once a cab pulled up, Clarke got in and gave the driver Raven’s address. Settling into the seat, she looked outside taking in the view as it passed. Clarke sighed, she just couldn't believe Lexa was really back. Yes, she had been warned but, a part of her was in denial. She also kept thinking about what Anya said, what excuse could the brunette possibly have to just leave. The blonde didn't want her drama to get in the way of Octavia and Lincoln’s happy moment but, maybe she would have a conversation with her ex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short Chapter but, next will be the party and maybe some drama as well.


	6. The Engagement Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry, it's been so long between life and really wanting this chapter to be good it took some work. So, thank you for reading and as always sorry for the typos.

The party was in full swing and Lexa was hiding.

So, she definitely wasn't as prepared as she hoped; if anything the unexpected ran in with Clarke had made Lexa think maybe she should’ve just stayed in London. The brunette thought maybe that after all this time she would finally be able to face what she had done but, those blue eyes that had once looked at her with such love had looked at her with heartache which she caused, everything she had rehearsed had been forgotten. 

Lexa had helped set up the rest of the decorations for the party then went into the backroom to get changed into her more formal outfit which she had brought with her. After she had changed, Lexa took a sit behind her aunt’s desk; Anya never came across sentimental but, she would do anything for her loved ones and her desk showed that; having photos of her and Lincoln, Gustus, and a older photo of Lexa’s parents. Then there was one that caught her attention hidden in the corner, it was of her and Clarke taken the last Christmas that they were all together. Clarke was laughing at a scowling Lexa after the blonde had stuck reindeer alters atop of the brunette’s head. Lexa took the photo in her hand and looked at how happy Clarke was and even herself who was scowling in the photo had a hint of a smile on her lips, everything was so simple and perfect back then. Next thing she knew she heard the guest start to arrive, she just couldn't bring herself to go out there and face everyone. So, she stayed there with the photo in hand wishing to go back to that day.

“Are you going to hide in here forever?”

Lexa looked up to discover her brother standing before her. “I don't know to be honest.”

Lincoln came around the desk and leaned up against it beside his sister putting a hand on her shoulder “Look, I know you're scared but, everyone already knows you’re here and now you just kinda look like a coward.”

“Well, it would fit me considering that’s what everyone thinks anyway.” Lexa finally put the photo back where it belongs and slumps further into the chair. 

“Hey, I don’t think you’re coward and neither does most of those people out there… not even Clarke. We all just know that you are hiding something from us and we can’t understand why.”

Lexa looked up at her brother and could tell he was waiting on her to finally tell him the truth “Lincoln I…”

“Hey Lincoln!” Another brunette came around around the corner looking around before zeroing in on Lexa “Oh, so this is were you been hiding” 

Lexa signed “Good to see you too, Raven.”

“Whatever anyway Lincoln, Octavia is looking for you. She really wants to start opening the engagement gifts.”

“Hmmm… Right.” Lincoln looked down at Lexa and smiled before walking past Raven whispering “Be nice” heading out the door.

Raven shook her head after him before taking a look at Lexa then turning towards the door shutting it and locking it for good measure. 

Lexa gulped and raised to her feet.

She didn't scare easy but Raven was not someone to mess with. Even with a bum leg she could take down someone over half her size.

The taller brunette turn back around and lean against the now lock door taking a second to really examine the other. 

“So, part of me really wants to kick your ass because you hurt my best friend… the other part of me wants to hug you because I’ve really missed my friend and well if I did kick your ass not only would it probably ruin this lovely engagement party it would also make Clarke very upset with me. So, this is a tough situation that you have put me in.”

Lexa walked around the desk and toward the other girl “Look, Raven-”

Raven put up her hand “NoNoNo.” stopping the girl in her tracks “Still trying to make the decision and you talking is not helping.” 

After a few minutes the quiet was finally broken by Raven clapping her hands making Lexa jump “Ok, I’ve made my decision.” walking quickly toward the other girl.

Lexa cringed not know what to expect before feeling two arms around her, Lexa tensed for a second before returning the hug. “ I missed you Lexa… and I’m sorry for this.”

The next thing Lexa knew Raven had pulled away and pain erupted from her stomach leaving her gasping for air. Slumped forward trying to catch her breath she felt a hand on her back rubbing circle. “Yeah, sorry. This was the only thing I could think of to satisfy both sides.”

“That’s fair” she whizzed before focusing on her breathing again. 

Once again the room was quiet while Lexa caught her breath.

Raven sighed “Ok, so I’m gonna go back out to the party and let you get back in order. Stop, being such a little bitch and get out there and face everyone.” with a pat on the back and click of the lock Lexa was left alone.

Standing up straight, she walked over to a mirror hanging on the wall to fix her hair and wipe away the mascara streak that were left behind by the tears that had fallen while she was trying to catch her breath. Taking a last look and a with a deep breath, she decided it was time and made her out to the cafe.

~

“Well, hello there” Anya said as her niece made her way up to her. “I see Raven left you in one piece.”

“Yeah, you could say that.” Lexa chuckled rubbing her aching stomach.

Looking around the party, Lexa realized she didn't know many of the people maybe some where from Octavia job or Lincoln’s gym pals or Lexa just didn't really know about their lives anymore. She did pick out Monty and Jasper hovering around the food, Murphy looking like this was the last place he wants to be but then again he has always looked like that and a few other familiar faces spotted in the crowd before she landed on the group she had been looking for. Lincoln was smiling and watching as Octavia was making her way through the gifts that had been brought while Raven and Clarke watched on laughing close by. The brunette felt like she had been punched again as she looked upon the laughing blonde so beautiful. Lexa continued to stare until Clarke clearly felt eyes looking her way and searched the room finally landing on Lexa; their eyes locked. Neither moved; neither knew how. Everyone else disappeared and it was just them. Losing track of how long they stared it was broken by a hand landing on Clarke shoulder getting the blonde’s attention. Lexa’s felt her stomach turn once again as she watched Clarke turn and hug the person with a large smile, the brunette began to walk backwards trying to find an exit but. bumping into her aunt.

“Whoa there” Anya grabbing and turning Lexa to face her. Seeing the look on her face, Anya began to worry. “What’s wrong?”

Lexa stared at her Aunt “How could you not tell me?”

“Tell you what?”

“That she was going to be here.”

Anya looked around trying to see what has her niece so shaken up it didn't take long to find it. It was Abby Griffin now hugging Octavia and Lincoln. She signed looking back at the young girl. “I didn't know Abby would be here. I knew that she was invited to the wedding but, last I heard with her work she wasn’t going to be able to make it. Obviously that changed".

“Obviously” Lexa sneered 

“Hey. No ones knows about what happened between you two and has much as I’ve wanted to beat the shit out of her for the past year I haven't because everybody would've wanted to know why I put Abby Griffin in the hospital when it was my niece that broke her daughter’s heart so…”

Lexa looked defended “I know but, I can’t be here while she is. Tell Lincoln and Octavia that I’m sorry… just say I couldn't face Clarke and that I headed back to their apartment.”

Anya shook her head but, wasn't going to start an argument in the middle of a party “Ok, text me when you get there, ok?” kiss her niece’s forehead.

“Ok” Lexa turn and snuck around the crowd to the front of the cafe almost unnoticed.

Lexa took a deep breath of the fresh air taking a moment before turning and walking down the street toward Lincoln and Octavia's apartment. She made it about a block away before she heard steps behind her.

“Really?! You’re just going to leave again!”

Lexa closed her eyes and shook her head. This really just wasn't her night. She turned around facing the fuming blonde “Clarke, I really can’t do this right now.”

Clarke shook her “No, you don’t get to decided when we are going to do this. You made a decision that changed everything and now I want to know why? Right Now!”

“I understand that you’re hurt and that you want answers but I just can’t…”

Clarke step closer “No. You don’t get to walk away this time. Why did you leave? Why didn’t you tell me about London sooner? Why’d I have to hear about it in a note? We could have made it work. I though we were in love.”

“We were” Lexa said hating the past tense.

“Obviously not and how about everyone else? You didn't tell anyone anything? How could you do that?”

Lexa stayed quiet not know what to say.

“I know you told Anya. She went from freaking out one week to the next telling us ‘Lexa has her reasons’. Come on, Lexa! What are the reasons? Why does Anya tell me talk to you? Telling me you have a big heart because where I stand it doesn't seem like it.”

The brunette felt her heart break just a little and just as she was about to speak, she heard a voice that made her stomach turn yet again.

“Clarke. What are you doing out here? You're needed for the toast.” Abby walked up behind the blonde “Oh. Hi, Lexa. I didn't know you were here?”

Lexa didn't say anything, just stared at the women in front of her.

“Lexa was just leaving Mom.” Clarke looked at her mom then back at Lexa “Right?”

Again, the brunette couldn't seem to find the words she wanted to speak.

Clarke shook her head before turning to walk back toward the cafe Abby following behind not even giving Lexa a second glance and with that Lexa found the courage.

“Hey, Clarke!”

The blonde stopped in her tracks turning back to her much to Abby annoyance.

“Maybe it’s not me you should talk to. Sure, I messed up and I accept that but, it wasn’t just me who betrayed your trust maybe you should talk to her” pointing directly at a shocked Abby. Putting her hand down, she looked the beauty straight in the eye “ Clarke, I never wanted to hurt you like this and I’m so sorry.” the brunette turned and continue her walk down the street.

~ Clarke’s PPV ~

The blonde watched as Lexa walked away before turning and looking at her mother. “What did she mean by that?”

Abby chuckled looking at her feet “I have no idea. She’s just trying to start trouble… Come on, let’s get back.” trying to grab her daughter hand but Clarke stepped further away. 

“No, I saw the why she looked at you. Lexa has never liked you but, she truly hates you now. What did you do? Why can’t you even look at me?”

Abby challenged her daughter's word by looking straight at her “Clarke, I did what was best for you. That girl was ruining your life! I knew all about you two. You thought I was that stupid hiding your so called ’relationship’. I knew and I did what I had to do”

Clarke looked at the older woman in disbelief “Mom, what did you do? Did you make her leave?”


End file.
